


Come Back to Me

by 7thweasley



Category: Harry Potter - J.K. Rowling
Genre: Character death isn’t until later, M/M, WWII, atonement au, ill tag as i go - Freeform, its based on it at least, theyre still magical and Remus is still a werewolf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-05-09 01:01:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14706158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7thweasley/pseuds/7thweasley
Summary: Sirius Black is the heir of the prestigious Black family. Remus Lupin is a lower class werewolf living on the Black estate. At one time they had gone to Hogwarts together, but then the Lupins had to skip town. Now they’re back and Remus & Sirius can resume their story.Atonement AU where Sirius is sort of Cecilia Tallis and Remus is Robbie Turner. None of that Paul Marshall business though.





	1. Chapter One

Sirius Orion Black had the poor fortune of being the heir to The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. This meant that instead of spending his summers away from school as he pleased, he was socialized and groomed to be what his parents deemed “the perfect gentleman”. His only companion throughout these long months (as he was cut off from his school friends) was his younger brother, Regulus. Regulus, despite not being held to the highest of standards like Sirius was, outshone his older brother in the eyes of their parents. It was on more than one occasion that Sirius argued with Orion and Walburga Black that if they loved their darling young son so much, he should be made heir in Sirius’ place. This was met with his father’s anger and his mother’s hand across his face; Walburga did not need magic to punish her children.

Despite this abuse, Sirius continued to be defiant whenever possible. This sent him into a terrible mood, which was only remedied the summer after Sirius’ last year at Hogwarts when a very dear friend came to live on the estate.

Remus Lupin had attended Hogwarts with Sirius and their other friends James and Peter. They were closely knit and boisterous, as all young boys are. Remus and Sirius, however, had just started to become close in a way that not all young boys are when Remus had been pulled from the school after their fifth year by his parents and shipped off to some remote place. It wasn’t that Hope and Lyall Lupin were cruel -- in fact Sirius thought of them as the exact opposite of his parents. On the contrary, Remus and his family had disappeared due to the strained political climate that was quickly closing in on the subject of werewolves and “other half-breeds”. Though they loved their son, it brought great shame and grief upon Hope and Lyall that Remus was a werewolf -- the result of a coworker’s anger with Lyall. Therefore, Remus and Sirius were separated and what might have been, in Sirius’ young dramatic mind, the “love affair of the century” was brought to a sudden halt. 

Apparently this nomadic life of the Lupins’ had nearly left them bankrupt, and in an uncharacteristic act of kindness, Orion had made the decision to hire Hope and Lyall. Even though Sirius’ family knew not of Remus’ lycanthropy, Sirius was given explicit instructions not to spend more time with them than absolutely necessary. Hope Lupin was a Muggle, making Remus a half-blood and therefore a stain in the eyes of The Horrid and Most Prejudiced House of Black.

As stated previously, Sirius was nothing if not stubborn. He had decided that any awkwardness that hung between him and Remus would have to be inconsequential -- he needed a friend.


	2. Chapter Two

“Have you got a lighter?”

Those were the first words Remus heard from Sirius’ mouth in two years. While they had exchanged letters for the first summer after their separation, his family’s roaming had left him unable to respond to most of them and eventually they just stopped coming. He had been heartbroken, but he knew that the two of them couldn’t keep this up forever.

Remus looked up from his seat on the steps. Sirius loomed above him, one hand shielding his eyes from the harsh June sun, the other casually holding a cigarette. Though he had grown significantly since fifth year (they both had), Sirius’ silver-green eyes hadn’t changed. He had grown out his hair which now fell loosely around his face. Remus was sure that this was a direct disobedience against Orion and Walburga. It made him smile to think that Sirius’ rebellious streak hadn’t been squashed by his parents.

“Of course,” Remus said, fishing into his pocket. From it he produced a small, golden lighter that had the word Professor inscribed on it. It was his nicest possession.

He flicked the spark wheel, and held the flame up to Sirius, who bent slightly to light his cigarette. After taking the first puff, he looked once again at the lighter and cracked a small smile.

“So you haven’t lost it, I see?” he asked coyly.

“How could I bear to part with it? It’s the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever received,” Remus replied, trying to keep his voice even. Towards the end of their fifth year, the lighter had been a gift from Sirius. Remus had been notified about his stellar O.W.L. results. “I reckon with marks like these, they might even let me become a teacher!” he had said to his friends as the four of them opened their letters. Later that week, Sirius had poked his head through the curtains of Remus’ four-poster bed and said that he had a gift for him.

Sirius sat beside Remus, still smiling but now rolling his eyes in mock offence. “What about when the three of us became Animagi for you? All that work and then you ran off the following summer.”

He was joking, of course, trying to lighten the air between them. Though Sirius sat about half a meter away from Remus, the distance felt simultaneously too far and too close. He took another drag from his cigarette and then passed it over.

Remus himself took a drag, thankful for something to instead of looking at his friend. He looked at his shoes and said quietly, “You know I didn’t have a choice.”

Sirius’ smile fell. “I didn’t mean it like that -- I was only joking --”

“I know.” They sat in silence for a few moments, passing the cigarette between them.

“I would like to run with you, as a dog I mean, during the full moon again. That is, if you’d have me of course,” Sirius said as he desperately tried to close the uncomfortable gap.

“I don’t think that would be such a good idea. I’ve already been told to stay away from you as it is. If your parents knew I was a half-breed as well as a half-blood --”

“Hey,” Sirius interrupted him. “Don’t call yourself that! You’re not a half-breed. You have a condition, it’s not your fault.”

Seeing Sirius so angry about his mistreatment felt like they were back in school together. It was a nice feeling. Almost like they hadn’t lost those two years.

“You’re right, I’m sorry, Sirius. But we really do need to be careful now, things have changed.”

His name rang in his ears, louder than if Remus had shouted it. It reminded him of all their hushed whispers, chaste kisses followed by giggles. It reminded him of a time when he was in love and not a prisoner in his own house.

The two of them continued catching up as they walked through the Black estate’s forest. They assumed they would have more privacy there, away from the prying eyes of Walburga. They would have been in the clear had it not been for Regulus leaning out his bedroom window to hear them.


	3. Chapter Three

The next two weeks were spent by the pair behind closed doors and secluded spots. Sirius’ heart had lightened considerably as the two friends grew close once more. He had been afraid that their solitude would make both of them too changed to recognize the other, but his fears were unfounded. 

“We are two nights away from the full moon, you know,” Sirius said conversationally as he waded in the cold water of the pond. Remus was sitting on the bank, reading and trying very hard not to be splashed.

“I’m aware,” he said, not looking up from his book.

“You can feel it approaching, can’t you?” It was more of a statement than a question. “What is your plan?”

“I was hoping to use the old wine cellar towards the northwest corner of your land. Mum and Dad can’t accompany me that night -- they’ll be busy with the social affair your father is planning,” Remus admitted nonchalantly, though he was incredibly anxious about his first transformation at the Black manor.

“And so you’ll be alone?” Sirius exclaimed. “Who will keep you from harming yourself?”

“I guess I’ll just… It would be too suspicious if they both were absent that night.” He sighed and closed his book to look at Sirius.

“Let me accompany you! It wouldn’t be out of character for me to miss the event.”

“Absolutely not. What will your parents think when you show up the next morning, all battered with bruises?”

Sirius splashed him in frustration before putting on an air of sarcasm and haughtiness. Remus knew this act well -- there could be no stopping him. “Firstly, I think they would be glad to see that someone had given me the beating they think I deserve. And secondly, I cannot believe you would presume to tell me, Sirius Orion Black, heir of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, what to do.”


	4. Chapter Four

It was this determined mindset that brought Sirius to the wine cellar two nights later. As he approached he saw a light flicker from within. Remus had already arrived and was busy preparing the room for the monstrous evening ahead.

Sirius opened the door a crack, and transformed himself into his shaggy self. He padded up to Remus, tail wagging and licking his fingers to get his attention. Sirius loved when he was a dog; it allowed him to show ample affection without Remus questioning it.

Despite the seriousness of what was soon about to happen to him, Remus laughed as Sirius became human again. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed being Padfoot,” he said, brushing the dust and twigs from his hands.

“You can’t transform whenever you like?”

“I think that if any of the staff saw a big black dog running amok on the property, my father would have the dogcatcher here before he even heard the end of the story.”

“Fair enough,” Remus said as a shiver was sent down his spine. It wasn’t long now.

Behind him, Sirius magically bolted the door to the stairs and established silencing charms. Remus had cleared all of the shelves to one side of the cellar in an attempt to not completely destroy them.

He turned back to face Sirius, who was now watching him, waiting. “I know I said that I didn’t want you here, but I am glad that you came anyways, Sirius. I’ve missed y--”

His speech was cut off by his knees jutting forward as the bones in his legs began to lengthen. He screamed in pain until his changing throat warbled the sound into a howl. His last memory before the wolf’s brain took over was the faint whoosh of Sirius becoming Padfoot.

\--

Remus awoke to Sirius’ arm across his chest and his warm breath tickling his neck. His heart began to beat so rapidly he feared it would wake his friend. In his panic, he went to scratch his head, and felt his hair to be slightly damp. Flashes of memories from the previous night started to return to him. After the wolf had tired out from clawing at itself and the walls of the cellar, Padfoot had licked behind its ears until it fell asleep. 

However comforting that had been, it did nothing to calm Remus’ nerves. Whatever he and Sirius had started had been buried in his heart when he left, and now ludicrous thoughts of it continuing came to his mind and sent him further into a panic attack.

He sat up and attempted to detangle himself from Sirius. It was at that moment that some movement caught his attention. Peering through the small plate of glass on the door to the cellar was a pale face with dark green eyes and properly groomed black hair. Regulus.

Realizing his mistake, Regulus bolted. Remus quickly shook Sirius awake.

“The fuck are you doing - I’m trying to sleep y’know,” Sirius slurred as he opened his eyes and propped himself up on one arm.

“Sirius, we need to leave right now. Regulus saw us - I don’t know how long he was there. Oh god, what if he saw me transform? He saw us lying together at the very least. Shit, he’s going to tell everyone that I’m a fucking gay werewolf -” 

Sirius jumped to his feet, immediately awake. “This is what we’re going to do: I’ll run you home to your cottage and then I’ll return to my room. We’ll both pretend that nothing out of the ordinary happened, if questioned. After all - it’s his word against ours, isn’t it?”

Remus nodded, though he didn’t like those odds. The Blacks liked neither Sirius nor himself, but it was the only plan they had.


	5. Chapter Five

“SIRIUS ORION BLACK,” Orion bellowed from the bottom of the staircase, not even bothering to send a servant to fetch his delinquent son.

Sirius had hurriedly pulled on some nightclothes in an attempt to support his fabricated alibi as he had lain in wait for the inevitable. He opened his door and called down to his father with the most innocent voice he could muster.

“Yes, Father?”

He was suddenly dragged down the stairs by his father’s curse, which dumped him at the feet of his parents. Behind them were two Aurors gripping a very ragged looking Remus. Sirius’ stomach lurched when he realized that not all of Remus’ bruises and scratches were from the previous night.

“Let him go!” he shouted, struggling to stand up. “He didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Nothing wrong?” Walburga screeched. “Nothing wrong? I can’t believe that we let a sodomite werewolf into our household, near our family, and you say that he is innocent?”

A third Auror grabbed Sirius as he lunged at his parents. “Regulus is a liar! Just a stupid little boy!”

Regulus gazed down upon him from the staircase, his eyes brimming with tears. “I’m sorry, Sirius, but I know what I saw. He’s dangerous!”

Sirius felt nauseous as the Aurors holding Remus dragged him outside. He did not say a word, he just stared at Sirius as he went.

There was a sleek black car parked in front of the manor, waiting for him. Sirius managed to break free from his captor, and ran towards Remus, totally disregarding his parents shouting behind him.

Before Remus could say anything, Sirius put his hand in his hair and kissed him. He kissed him like it was the end of the world - and maybe it was, for them. 

He pulled back slightly so that their foreheads were still pressed together. “Come back. Come back to me. I’ll be waiting for you.”

Then Remus was pulled from his grasps and shut within the car. Sirius ran after it until it disappeared through the magical barriers of the estate.


	6. Chapter Six

[3 ½ years later]

“I’m sorry that I’m late - I got lost.”

Sirius thought he would have been better prepared for this moment, for hearing his voice again, for seeing him again. Three and a half years felt like a lifetime to Sirius, and the absence had only made their hearts grow fonder.

And yet there he was. Standing in front of him, hat tucked neatly beneath his arm. Three and a half years. So much had changed within those years.

Sirius stood carefully as to not disturb the set table that he had spent the last half hour fiddling over.

“Remus.”

Remus shifted his weight and anxiously pulled at his woolen tie.

“You look well,” Sirius stuttered. They continued to stand there, awkwardly, not sure what to do.

“You as well. You’re a Healer?” Remus shifted again before pulling out the chair to their small table to sit.

Sirius did the same, smoothing his waistcoat with the telltale Healer’s pin upon it. “Did my letter not reach you?”

“I haven’t received any mail for the last 9 months, no.”

“Oh,” Sirius said, fidgeting with his linen napkin. “I didn’t stop writing, you know.”

“Of course.”

The extent of the change that those years had affected on Remus had not been evident in his few letters. He was more proper, his uniform all ironed. He seemed stiff, as if some life had been knocked out of him.

His eyes, however, were unchanged. He cleared his throat and spoke again. “Have you spoken to your family?”

“Not since I left. Things became… quiet after everything happened. They didn’t seem to care when I left. Didn’t even fight me on it, not like they did when I ran away that one summer. Regulus has tried to contact me, though... I’ve ignored him.” Sirius seemed to ramble to fill the silence.

“Sirius… they’re sending me to France, as part of the Muggles’ British Expeditionary Forces,” Remus said. He looked around their table to see if anyone was watching before sliding his hand to lightly touch Sirius’ pinky with his own.

“The Muggle military?” Sirius exclaimed. Realizing he was too loud, he hunched towards Remus so they might whisper. “How can they do that? You’re a wizard, and a werewolf at that!”

“Apparently they can. It’s part of my punishment, I guess. I’m some biological weapon to them. My whole unit is.” His words hung in the air. They looked at each other, unspoken meanings between them.

“How long are you in London?” Sirius brushed his fingers against Remus’. “We could get out of here.”

“My train leaves tomorrow morning.”

“I’ve got a little flat not far from here. We can Apparate there from behind this cafe, if you want.”

Remus’ stony exterior broke for a second. “I would like that, very much.”


	7. Chapter Seven

The sunrise shown through the curtains onto Remus and Sirius’ naked forms. They continued to lay there despite both being awake. Sirius noticed that the years hadn’t changed the way the sun flitters off of Remus’ honey-brown hair. It hadn’t changed the freckles on his nose. Many more scars decorated his face, that was true, but the freckles were the same.

“Sirius?”

“Yes?” he breathed, his breath slightly rustling Remus’ hair.

“You have to promise me something.”

“And what is that, my love?” Sirius traced his finger along a scar that was still pink on Remus’ chest.

“You have to promise me, that if something happens to me, you have to continue on.”

“Remus, nothing’s going to -“

“Let me say this. These last few years, you’ve put your life on hold. I love you, but everything has taken a pause because of me. And I cannot in good conscience let you continue to do that,” Remus whispered, looking up at Sirius.

“I told you I would wait for you.”

“You deserve everything you’ve ever wanted, Sirius. I cannot give you the world that you deserve. I’m a werewolf with a criminal record -“

“Neither of which are your fault!” Sirius interrupted angrily.

The corners of Remus’ mouth twitched upwards in a slight smile, reminded of their very same conversation nearly four years prior.

“Neither of which are my fault,” he conceded. He knew better than to argue over minute details with Sirius. “Regardless of who is to blame, it does not change what I want for you. A perfect, fulfilling life - that cannot happen with me. I’ve accepted it, you must as well.”

Remus craned his neck to look Sirius in the eye as he said this, and cupped his cheek with his hand.

Sirius’ gaze softened under Remus’ touch. In the back of his mind, he knew that Remus was only being logical, only saying what he thought was best for him. Still, he didn’t have to like it.

“I understand that a life with you would not be conventional, but I’ve never been one for conventions have I?”

“Sirius -“

“Don’t ask me to forget you, please, Remus.”

Remus smiles endearingly and ran his hand through Sirius’ hair. He sighed deeply, looking at over at his watch resting on the side table. 

“You win this one, Black,” he huffed, “just - think about what I’ve said, will you? I have to get going. My train leaves in half an hour.”

He untangled himself from Sirius, and stood to redress. As he fumbled with his tie, Sirius propped his head upon his elbow and watched him for a moment.

“I love you, have I told you?” he said quietly.

Remus’ long fingers paused in their work, before he looked up and smiled. “I know. And I love you in return.”

“Come back to me, won’t you? Come back.”


	8. Chapter Eight

That morning, in that tiny flat, was the last time that Remus and Sirius saw each other. Though, of course they didn’t know it then, but roughly four months later Remus would be killed in Normandy. 

He wouldn’t die at the weapon of an enemy, but at the jaws of another werewolf on the full moon. The other werewolf, crazed from combat and loneliness, would attack a civilian household. Upon hearing this massacre, Remus will sacrifice himself in an attempt to save them.

Sirius will die about a month later, never knowing what befell his dearest. A Fiendfyre bomb would be dropped on the emergency hospital he was working in at the time. There will be no survivors. When the news of their disowned son’s demise reaches them, Orion and Walburga Black will burn the telegram along with every portrait and item associated with him.

Ultimately, Remus and Sirius will never get their quiet mornings in a shared flat together. Remus won’t sip his coffee and read the paper while Sirius lays his head in his lap. They won’t bicker lightheartedly about Sirius wanting to adopt a cat. Time and circumstances separated them, but if the romantics are right, they are together again in some afterlife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
